image via Dancing Branflake
"You're a beautiful dancer, just not in ballet."
Suzi Wood, a ballet teacher at BYU, said that to me my last year in college. I remember this heartbreaking Jodi Sawyer moment like it was yesterday. I knew I would never be a ballerina for a major company (my body type certainly does not lend itself to that) but telling me I wasn't good at all nearly destroyed all the confidence I had in myself as a dancer. Looking back I realize now how completely inappropriate her words were for a college professor (and for a decent human being in general), but at the time I was just incredibly sad and lost.
I share this with you because throughout our lives we will not only have people telling us that we are not good enough but also that we should quit all together. Bloggers, never say never. For those who have Etsy shops and blooming creative ideas and businesses, please don't give up. You have a vision and who is to say that your vision is not worth something? You never know. They never know. You go with your gut and you remember that initial burst of creative inspiration and never let that go.
We don't do it for fame or glory but because we have a passion for our vision set before us. The end result is unknown and that's okay because it will probably be much better than we imagined anyway.
I can't imagine my life if I had listened to her words and given up on ballet. In fact, after graduation my love for it increased tenfold as did my confidence in it. You just never know.
image via Tom Huynh
Dancer: Me
You can do it.
You wouldn't have started if you couldn't finish.
I appreciate you writing this post! It's true that one feels the need to be creative (you via dance and blogging and more), and sometimes you know you shouldn't do it for fame or adoration, but sometimes you just really really want to share what you have worked on and done! Some weeks I'll get followers day after day and then some weeks I will get no one, and deep down it is a bummer, but I don't want to give up... ever! I just gotta keep doing what I do because I feel the need and desire and enjoyment to keep blogging and taking photos. You are so awesome! Thanks for the encouragement! Sac Bloggers Unite! hahaha
ReplyDeletewhoa, can't believe a teacher would say that to you! you are such a beautiful person and have an amazing attitude!
ReplyDeleteto answer your question- i just do concert. i am way not cool enough for drumline :-P
Thanks for the nice comment on my blog! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://damncreativity.blogspot.com/
Thanks for such a wonderful uplifting post. I am so glad you did not give up:)
ReplyDeletewhat a beautiful and inspiring post sweetie!! many a time i feel like giving up with my etsy shop b/c i don't have time or i don't get sales, but i love what i do and know i just have to keep on going!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteMy friend and I have been planning to start a business and it can be overwhelming (technology, stock, partnerships, money) We can all do it!
xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
Ugh. What a sad comment! You are a beautiful dancer, and I'm so happy you are still dancing.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful message!!! You rock, pretty much :)
ReplyDeleteI hate it- see red when people are dream killers. or try to be! have a good monday!
ReplyDeletesuper inspiring - loved this, girl!
ReplyDeleteThat's such an incredible mean thing to say. And you're absolutely right, we should always try to do things even if they seem hard at first!
ReplyDeleteTotal Jodi Sawyer moment, wow.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why anyone would ever say that. And I guess it's why I fear sending my writing to anyone... because I'm scared of rejection.
Thanks for writing this lady, it's very inspiring.
What an encouraging post - and how messed up of that teacher! Grrr! What a thoughtless, destructive thing to say.
ReplyDelete2 stories sort of related
ReplyDeleteStory one - Suzi told me, not the same thing, but something equally disheartening in the middle of my college career that made me stand up and go say what? (well...in my head) and I proceeded to work harder than ever to prove her wrong. (and I did do that. much to my happiness. and hers too in the end.) I'm sorry she said such things to you, but I am so glad you pushed past her thoughtless words.
Second Story - I remember the VERY first audition for ballet companies I went to @ BYU - August of 2004. I remember watching you audition and thinking you were just gorgeous. You got all of the combinations SO QUICKLY and were just amazing. I knew that I had a long way to go in order to ever make it anywhere.
I think you're a beautiful dancer and I always envied your petite allegro technique. :o)
Awww what horrible words for someone to say to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that with us. It's definitely inspiring and encouraging to visit blogs such as yours!
Oh Tiffany, this is a fantastic post! And how amazing that you can look back and know you overcame the odds! It's a beautiful story.
ReplyDeleteI must admit, I've been thinking of giving up the blog. It is mediocre and with my hands full in my personal life, I find my efforts put toward The Sentimentalist are met with luke warm glances at best. But it is my world of silly when my professional and personal life is so full of seriousness. It is nice to have sweetness to take refuge in.
Very inspiring and true. I had a professor tell me I'd never amount to anything - nice guy right? People like that shouldn't be allowed to teach. I love your blog and I'm so happy I found it. Thanks for this post. I'm going to read it often.
ReplyDelete-Michelle
www.twentynineblog.com
This is truly such an inspirational post, Tiffany! As an aspiring novelist, I truly feel that this has given me even further hope in accomplishing my dreams! :)
ReplyDeleteyou nailed it when you said whatever you're doing from the standpoint of passion isn't about a goal, it's about the gift the pursuit already gives you each time you engage in it. love this..
ReplyDeleteSuch an inspiring post! I can not believe that a professor would say something like that. I am glad you did not listen and that your love for ballet increased.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post so much.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those burned out moments...but pushing through them is so worth it!
ReplyDeleteAwh Tiff this is such an amazing post! So inspiring and so true. I can't believe your professor told you that. Totally inappropriate and look you showed her!
ReplyDeleteHappy Monday, my friend :) xoxo
This is such an inspiring post, and you are one amazing woman! That teacher was way out of line, but I'm so glad you didn't let her crush your drive. I've had similar things said to me about my singing, and one of my greatest joys was COMPLETELY changing the mind of my director!
ReplyDeleteI really need this today. Thank you!
ReplyDeletebeautiful post... perfect to get me uplifted on a monday morning!
ReplyDeletereading this post was a wonderful way to start the week. thanks for writing it! my blog is still relatively new, but I remember several months ago when I was just getting started, someone I know said, "no one's ever gonna read that." it was a hurtful thing to say, but I'm glad I kept going. slowly, I'm gaining readership! and it helps to remind myself that the first reason I have a blog is for my own creative fulfillment. (entertaining other readers is a close second, though:)
ReplyDeletei LOVE this!! it's so true that we often put way too much stock in people's opinions of us. but they're just people and even if they are "a professional" who says they're right about anything? why do we believe the couple of negative opinions about us over the dozens of positive opinions? that's something i've been overcoming a lot as i grow up. now i'm in LA and i'm excited to do acting. i know this venture will be FULL of opinions, and i'm really grateful i didn't show up here when i was younger. i've also come to the realization that i love the ACT of acting, not the fame or riches part. that is such a relief because it means i can take on those parts which are meaningful to me even if i don't make money and even if no one ever sees it.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely look like a beautiful ballerina to me!!
ReplyDeleteWhat inspiring words, Tiffany! You really don't ever know unless you try and never giving up is the least you can do in working towards what you want/like.
what a sweet and inspirational post! and damn that teacher for being such a moron, but i am glad you pushed through despite her discouraging words.
ReplyDeletereading this post on a downer/uninspired day might just help me a bit. :]
wow this post is incredibly awesome! so happy that you continued on!
ReplyDeleteI had a teacher when I was little tell my mother that I would never last a day in regular school with my ADD and hyperactivity and depressed ear drum. The teacher didn't know that I was listening at the door. That was about 20 years but I still remember it like it was yesterday. That moment has been my fuel for most of my life. In my regular high school I was #20 out of 155 kids. I wish I could put my dipolma on that women's desk to show her.
ReplyDeleteWhat a rude lady to say that to you. From the dancing you have shown us and poses you are a beautiful and wonderful dancer that feels the music. It's a treat to see your true talent.
I remember Simon on American Idol said that Jennifer Hudson would never be a singer unless it was a cruise ship. He was ever so wrong. She has an academy award now right for her singing? Yeah.
Go for your dreams and never give up! EXCELLENT MOTTO! =)
Melanie's Randomness
they way I see it, people who want to crush your dreams/goals do it because they are jealous or ignorant. (like a certain family member telling my nephew he is not a good soccer player when my nephew's dream is to make it to the world cup..he is only 8! so I tell my Nephew YOU ARE GREAT< YOU CAN DO and BE anything you want to be. to this family member I said, 'he is much better than you an me combined.'
ReplyDeleteso happy you didn't give up Tiffany! you are a beautiful dancer and person!
that is such a wonderful post and reminder!
ReplyDeletethank you becuase I needed to hear that :)
PS ummm you are a beautiful dancer I am certain of it (an humanbeing ;)
It's not always easy to believe in oneself, which makes it all the more important to have supportive friends or bloggers (like you!) - because it's SO TRUE, Tiffany. What would we be without our creative dreams? Good on you you didn't let her silly, destructive comment discourage you to follow your dream!
ReplyDeleteWonderful and inspiring post! I can't believe your college professor said that! I mean I've heard of constructive criticism, but that just seemed like destructive criticism! I love your words of encouragement to all bloggers, etsy shop owners, and those with creative ideas. Your story is so inspiring and it's so wonderful to hear your love for dance has only increased ;)
ReplyDeleteOh my..Im all in tears after reading this post. You are such an inspiration and I am so happy that you didnt give up! You are amazing, darling
ReplyDeleteKisses and hugs
i love this post! and honestly, i think every dancer is a beautiful dancer!
ReplyDeletexoxo
b
Tiffany, I love you. Seriously. I can't tell you how down I've been feeling about myself lately. I'm an excellent Science Studies student and an awful Philosophy grad student. That's been really hard. And trying to figure out how to pursue all my other dreams on top of that...it's been hard. So thank you for the inspiration.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great message! That certain professor was never my favorite either. I took 390 three times at BYU. The first two times from Jan who gave me an A. The last time from Suzy who gave me a C+! She really didn't like me or my body type for her style . . .oh well. I also recall a few negative comments from teachers during college that just motivated me to push myself further and never give up. I saw some dance majors be driven away from their dreams because of this and it breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry, and therefor I say THANK YOU:)
ReplyDeleteI completely understand...when you have dreams...never give up:)
Have a great day.
oh, hey! I heard nearly the same thing :) My first year - when I was not a size zero due to some personal/health hard times - she told me that I will never, ever, ever be a ballet dancer ( despite of the previous years of training :)). Broke my heart. I dropped all ballet and went to modern. HAd a love/hate relationship. Missed ballet, and had to re-learn to re-gravitate myself. Then I went to dance intensive to Paul taylor. On scholarship. The fall after auditioned for everything modern dance had to offer, and heard from PAt , that he will "never, ever" put me on stage as I have "zero talent". That was ground breaking for my mentality. I realized that all of those are JUST subjective PERSONAL opinions based on NOTHING but personal like/dislike. So , I spit on everything, drop modern classes , enrolled in every ballet there was ( as it was a couple of years by then without daily training), and went on doing what I like. The next semester I was 6 months pregnant with my first taking Jan's class, and loving life. I started auditing more then taking for credit, because I cared about dancing more then about subjective opinions that would crash my unstable and vulnerable self. Jan gave me a breath of air and all the confidence return back - at first just as much as he crashed his god-like reputation in my eyes three years later. Suzi changed her attitude to me completely after I came back as a mini version of the person she knew before. I learned a lot from her, but only because I listen between the lines and completely skipped everything else. My grand finale at BYU you know - it was a very , almost theatrical ending from the person I expected it the least, that said pretty much the same thing I heard at the beginning - for whatever reason. At the end? I am a successful PROFESSIONAL dancer with 3 ( soon 4) children, where everyone said " you can't do it". My choreography, that a certain one person christened as "never will be seen" was staged in NYC during the past year with great success, and I am still not done performing. I love what I do. And you are absolutely right - do not believe or listen to ANYONE that says anything contrary to what you want to do.
ReplyDeletePS - I had NO idea you had those issues. I ALWAYS thought of you as a GORGEOUS and multi-talented dancer. XOXOXO
I know so many dancers with a story similar to this one, myself included. It’s interesting that teachers who either thoughtlessly or with purpose make comments like this think they’re doing their student a favor. And in some cases it works to make us push ourselves harder but for how many does it do exactly the opposite, I wonder.
ReplyDeleteThere are better ways to get great things from people or even guide them toward their truer strengths and talents. It’s too bad when teachers are unable or can’t be bothered to try those better ways.
I LOVE this post, Tiffany. Beautiful words. And it's so true - I'm so glad you didn't let those words get you down. You are a beautiful dancer in ever aspect of the word, not just in ballet, but in life :) And those words that you've written in this post are a testament to that - we all have something to contribute, each of our visions are unique, we each have so much to offer. I hope people don't give up on their dreams :) Thank you for being an inspiration to us :)
ReplyDeleteneeded to read that today. i had this long convo with the hubs last night regarding... "how do you know if it's a business or just a hobby?" a topic a lot of us struggle with i'm sure.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! There are so many days where feel discouraged, be it work, or blogging, or life in general. And while I do have to work constantly to reassure myself, it's freeing to accept your gut and follow your passion.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a special breed of person to keep going. You are inspirational. Thank you for speaking out. We all need that encouragement to keep going ourselves.
ReplyDeleteIt's comments like this that make me wonder why some people choose to go into teaching. Seriously!? Wow, her words make me mad.
ReplyDeleteI think you ARE a beautiful dancer... and not JUST in ballet, but in modern too. So there, Suzy! :)
Wow. I totally related to your Jodie Sawyer moment. I was in the BFA program at U of A for one year and basically had one of the instructors say the same thing to me. I wish I could say it made me push harder, but after that year I transferred schools and, while I continued to dance casually, I stopped pursuing it for my life (due to injury and other things too).
ReplyDeleteBut you message - Don't Give Up is so powerful and so true. Thanks for the reminder, and for sharing your stories with us!!
xo
i cant tell you how many times i've been told that.
ReplyDeletebut i like to think that everytime that i am, i pick myself up and prove them wrong...
Everyone's a critic, but in the end you have to face yourself and look at your happiness at hand. How can a person be without dreams? I don't know where I would be without my blog or a creative outlet to write with!
ReplyDeleteThat was lovely. I know what you mean about people telling you you're just not right for this, or not the right body type, and on and on... luckily somehow I still have enough confidence and perseverance to finally attend grad school in the fall! Happy dancing :) (I'm a dancer too!)
ReplyDelete